The Greatest of These is Love

My husband has this specific message that he's believed in ever since we met. (In fact, hearing him talk about it at the Baptist Student Union devotion time was what first drew me to him!) It's a simple message that has such a profound impact: love.

It's a message that he was blessed to share with about 30 youth last Friday evening at a lock-in (hosted by our friends, Brian and Laura Leigh). How if you say you love God but hate your brother, you're a liar. If you don't love according to 1 Corinthians 13, you don't really love. (And, yes, we all fail in that area because we aren't perfect, but this is our standard.) And this love is not just found in 1 John or 1 Corinthians but throughout the Bible. In fact, my husband firmly believes that the Bible is nothing but God saying He loves us and wants a relationship with us. And I can't help but see the same theme.

This morning, for example, I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. From chapter 5 to chapter 7, there's a theme that I noticed. Can you guess what it is? Yep...love! "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...If you remember that your brother has a complaint against you, go make it right...Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy...Blessed are you when men persecute you and spitefully revile against you for My sake...Judge not that you be not judged, for in the manner that you judge you yourself shall be judged..."

In this, Jesus' first message to, well, anyone (as far as we know), He makes it clear that the difference between the Judaic law and the Christian "law" is love. Love is what makes Jesus the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets. I have heard and even said many times that the difference between the two is the heart in which something is done...but if it isn't done in love, is it really done with the right heart?

I think that's what the real difference between the Pharisees and Jesus was. They were doing lists of things because they looked right, but Jesus did all of His actions out of love.

The lists of things to do, items to check off, they're nothing without love. Isn't that what Paul was saying?

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

We could easily say, "If I read my Bible, pray for others, go to church and Sunday School, if I lead the women's ministry and volunteer to lead every youth event, if I visit the homeless and the shut-ins and give half of my salary to the church but have not love, I am nothing."

Yes, it looks good on paper. It looks great to everyone at church and in the community. But to God? Paul once again says it best.

"...If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless. But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ..." (Philippians 3:4-8).

When Paul says that he counts these great things that he has done as rubbish, he means the very lowest form of crap. (Sorry to be crass, but the actual word used here in the Greek? Well, it's the most vulgar form of the word "poo" you can get...) These things that we do, that we strive for? Compared to knowing Christ, they are rubbish.

And when we don't do them out. of. love, they are worthless.

It boils down to this: if we love God, we will love our brothers (and sisters). And if we love God, we will serve Him out of love, not fear or duty.

How are you showing love today?

Sharing my heart this morning over at Ann's.

The Gracious Struggle

I've been getting blessed out of my socks for the past 2 days from reading the Compassion bloggers in Ecuador. (Twitter hashtag #cbec) If you haven't checked them out, I suggest you do. And be prepared. Tissues, your Bible, a journal to write down thoughts...

It's life-changing, heart-wrenching, and eye-opening. All of it. From reading about God's great grace He gives to a pig farmer from Canada to the grace He gives to an Ole Miss fan from Alabama. And every picture, every thought in between.

Still I'm caught in the struggle between, "We don't have the money," and, "We have so much stuff." Most of it was accumulated over time or given to us by many generous people at Abby's baby showers. (She has several outfits that she never wore. I kid you not.) What do we need? What can we sell? Send? Give?

I'm still not sure. And this has been mulling through my mind for over a year. Maybe I'm a slow learner, but I do know this: God is calling me to something beyond this American mindset. To something more than over-indulgence. As Ann pointed out this morning, “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” Ezekiel 16:49 (emphasis Ann's)

I don't want to be guilty of not helping the poor and needy.

That's what I keep coming back to. That and the fact that even with a very low salary, even with our missing bills left and right, we're still richer than most people in the world today. We have so much, so much. And why can't we give?

I'm ashamed to admit that we could sponsor a child. If we got rid of the Internet and Netflix. And when I look at the faces of the hurting and the poor, that's all I want to do. But I also know this: sponsoring a child, for us, is something that we have to commit to. There's no turning back. And some months, we can't pay our Internet or Netflix bill on time.

So I pray. I wait. And I'm yearning for the day when God opens up a way for us to sponsor a child. Or two. Or ten. When He allows for us to help in a tangible way. And, oh, I hope it comes soon!

If you would like to sponsor a child through Compassion, you can click here for more info.

He Numbers Our Wanderings...

You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? 

                                                                                                                                         Psalm 56:8

So often it can feel like God isn't listening. That He doesn't hear us or care about what we're going through. This is especially true when we're in the wilderness, the desert, the valley, or in the midst of suffering. We easily, readily believe the lie that we're not good enough. That we aren't loved.

It's so easy to think, "If God loved me, then..." 

Things would be easier. 

Life would be kinder. 

Only the evil people would suffer. 

But He does love us. And often the times when we hurt the most are the times when we draw closer to Him and grow deeper in our relationship with Him. 

"For we know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

They may not feel good. They may be incredibly painful. But we can rest knowing that they will work together for good.

The blessed promise in all of this is that He numbers our wandering and keeps our tears in a bottle. He hasn't forgotten us. Me. You. No, He numbers our wanderings. He keeps our tears. He is there with you today. Will you rest in that? That He knows where you are, that you have been crying to Him, and that He will make it work for good?

Whom do You Follow?

Something in the Christian church has been plaguing my heart lately. Something small, almost insignificant; something some would say isn't an issue at all.

But I have to wonder: have we so focused our beliefs on Jesus that we have excluded God?

I see it in the hymns we sing: What a Friend We Have in Jesus, Soon and Very Soon, Since I Have Been Redeemed. I hear it in the words that are preached. I even see it in the way that we (I?) think. How often have you heard the question, "How could a loving God ___?" We see Jesus' compassion, His love, and forget the rest of the Trinity. That Jesus is only part of God, that He is not synonymous with God, and that God is full of wrath.

I see it so often in the words my friends type online: Jesus is the King, Jesus is so good, would Jesus really want for you to do such and such?

Yes, Jesus is integral to the relationship we have with God. If it weren't for Him, we would never be good enough to enter Heaven. But.

Jesus is NOT the fullness of God. Yes, in Him the fullness of the Godhead dwells bodily (Col. 2:9), but to worship Jesus to the exclusion of the other two-thirds of the Trinity? That's where the danger lies.

God encompasses so much more than Jesus and His earthly ministry. Even His heavenly ministry. God encompasses the beginning of time itself, the harsh punishment He gave to Adam and Eve, the exile of Cain, the destruction of the world as it was with the flood, the annihilation of Sodom and Gomorrah, the harsh and even cruel punishments of the nations that He chose to punish through the Israelites. God also encompasses the Spirit's work in the prophets, in certain men from the Old Testament, and in our lives today. The boldness to speak what we should, the words He gives us for a hurting friend...these are not done by the work of Jesus but of God the Father and God the Spirit.

Call me a heretic, but I believe that giving Jesus more credit than He is due is just as damaging to the church as saying that Jesus is nothing more than an angel, a brother to Satan. Call me a heretic, but I believe that this slight distortion can be just as damaging, if not moreso, to the church as Gnosticism was and has been. Call me a heretic, but I think we need to see a change.

We need to see the Bible as it stands as a whole, not just the New Testament. We need to view the Bible as one letter from one God who happens to have 3 parts. And we need to make sure our speech makes it clear that we not only follow Christ but that we also (and more importantly) follow God, the Trinity, the whole Person of the Godhead. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 24-25 (NASB, emphasis mine)

What sort of people ought you to be?

Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat! 2 Peter 3:11-12

I've been reading the New Testament, specifically any non-Pauline letters. I think a lot of times, we read and hear what Paul wrote while we neglect the rest of the New Testament or even the Old Testament. I read the passage above today, and it's been weighing heavily on my mind.

What sort of people should we be?

After all, this world is fading. It will be burned one day, along with everything we've accumulated. Wealth, power, prestige, success...even "good" things like clothes, computers, food, shelter. All of this? This that we've gained while on earth? It's going  to be burned. To ashes. Pointless.

How will we have affected this world? The people in it? What will the fires show at the end of the world? Were we caring? Genuine? Did we love our enemies? Did we bless them who cursed us? Did we show love and compassion to the lost and hurting, or did we just skim over their needs?

I'm often humbled with the knowledge that even though my husband is without a job, we're still wealthier than most of the people in this world. Tonight, I read this post that challenged that thought even further. I encourage you to read it (bring tissues!) I also encourage you to pray and ask yourself if your possessions have a hold on you. If so, pray for a new perspective. If they don't, then what is keeping you from sharing, from giving the least of these your all?

It's a hard question which I don't know the answer to. For myself. For our family. For the world.

Five Minute Friday: Growing

Linking up again with Lisa-Jo for the most freeing 5 minutes known to this blogger. :) Yes, I'm actually taking the time this week for Five-Minute Friday!

You know the drill: Write for 5 minutes on the topic (Growing) with no editing. Just writing what comes from the heart without looking for perfection.

Go!

Growing can be painful. It can cause stretchmarks on a pregnant belly and late night pains on a growing teenager. Scars, broken bones, stitches...all come from growing.

But the end result can be breathtaking!

I'm reminded of the Greek meaning for humility (one of my husband's favorite illustrations). The word literally comes from the idea of breaking a wild horse in. Of learning to use the strength and prowess for more than just yourself. God teaches us to control what He has given us through, well, growing.

Through the trials and the sufferings, through the hard times in the valleys. He teaches, strengthens, and humbles us so that He can use us better.

We've been in a growing season lately. Lately as in the past few years. Yes, it's only gotten harder. But God has also shown Himself in ways that we never would have dreamed possible. And as we've grown spiritually, we've also grown closer to our gracious God, who gives us all that we need in ways we could not have imagined.

Stop!

What about you? How has God shown you His grace as He grows and humbles you?

Today we met with the search committee again. Which is amazing simply because this morning was rough.

Abby woke up at 6. Drew had a headache/sinus pressure that kept him in bed. And I was up earlier than I have been in a while. Abby finally went back to sleep...right before we left for church. And didn't get her nap out until, oh, around 4. PM.

Thankfully, even with the hiccups, the meeting went well. In fact, I'd say it went very well. We're waiting to hear back from them right now.

Of course, this being a small country church, there isn't a lot of money in it. And even though we aren't in it for the money by any means, we know that it will still take a certain amount to keep us on our feet. (We don't know exactly how much he would be making right now if he did accept the job. We just know that there isn't a lot of money in it.) So, essentially, we would begin praying for another job to supplement, whether it's something for me to do or for him to do.

I'm so thankful today for His grace-gifts. This morning, while I was taking a shower, Great is Thy Faithfulness came to my mind. Then we sung it in church. Then it played on the classical Pandora station. To me, it's obvious that it was meant for me today. To revel in the fact that He is faithful, that His mercies are new every morning, that He gives "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." That no matter how dark, how lonely life may seem, He is there. He is faithful. He is good. And He knows exactly where we are. He has blessed us beyond measure, and I realize that more and more each day that passes. He has given us so much, we who have so very little to give. And He doesn't expect for us to give Him anything but our love in return. 

 From Lamentations 3:
22 The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
     For His compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
   “Therefore I have hope in Him.”

What Happened Last Night

Meeting with the church last night went very well! We really enjoyed talking with the youth, and we even had a blast with the youth search committee! We're going to be visiting the church on Sunday and talking with the search committee afterwards again.

When we got home last night, both Drew and I felt really good about the prospect of being the youth minister there. It's a small youth group with an age gap between 7th and 8th graders and college-aged kids. But we know that we could very well leave a good foundation for them, which is exciting.

The other possible problem is that it is a part-time position. More than likely, Drew will need to get another job to fill in the gaps.

Your prayers are coveted as we seek God's will.

On another note, this morning, I woke up to another grace-gift: my morning glory vines, which have never had more than 2 flowers or 1 color bloom at the same time, had 7 blooms with both colors!! God is truly gracious and loving, and I'm so thankful that He cares enough for me to show me His love when I'm feeling especially down.

Thank you all for your prayers, your love, and your support. It means so very much to me.

Life Right Now: Drew has an Interview!!

I have some great news! Drew has an interview tonight!!

It's a part-time position as a youth minister, so it won't cover all of our financial needs. But it's a start! And it also happens to be with the age group that we both have a passion for! This position does have the potential to become full-time, too.

I'm also thankful that it's at a church nearby. We won't have to move! And we can coordinate events with the youth minister that Drew interned under for a couple of years!

Now, while I'm excited about this opportunity, I'm not going to lie: I'm also concerned about where we are now. Our daughter is actually getting to the end of her extensive wardrobe (for some reason, we didn't receive a lot of clothes after 6 months), and she is also outgrowing some of her cloth diaper covers. It's just been a lot lately, period, and to add these smaller things on top of it overwhelms. And while I have been doing fairly well, I tend to avoid it until I'm crushed under the weight of it all. Which is where I am now. I will say that at least God has been good to let my husband and I take turns with being overwhelmed. But I digress.

I want to thank each of you for your prayers and your sweet comments. It really does mean a lot to me.

A Note About Life Right Now and the God Who Can Handle It!!

I've been keeping certain aspects of my life hidden from this blog, choosing instead to put my more inspired thoughts here. Well, things are not going as we had hoped. Not at all.

But I've come to realize something incredibly important: if I hide all of what God does in my life, then I am hiding the things that I should praise Him for. I'm hiding His goodness, His grace. Even in the hard times, when I feel like nothing is going the way it should.

Right now, my husband is without at job once more. This, by the way, is the third or fourth time in a year. (I've lost count, to be honest...) This is the fourth or fifth month (depending on how you look at things) that husband has been without a job in the past year. And we're leaning completely on God to provide for us. Totally.

We've talked about it I don't know how many times, but we both agree that my role is to stay at home and take care of the house and our daughter. I don't know exactly what I can do from home to help (I'm not a salesperson, and I don't take time to do crafts, even though I hoard them on Pinterest!) I don't know if I should do something from home to help.

We're currently praying, seeking God's face, asking Him to show us where He would have us. We're waiting on miracles, and He has already provided one. One that should help us pay a couple of bills and keep food on the table and gas in our truck for a little longer, anyway. I'm not going to lie: we're also hurting. I'm not going to go into details, but we're being hurt from several people that we trusted. And my husband is also upset because though we've been trying to follow God, we are getting no where. Fast. It's enough of an effort to keep food on the table, much less clothes on our backs.

I've been holding onto the verses in Luke 12 that speak of God clothing the lilies and feeding the sparrows. That He loves us so much more than they. That He will provide for our needs, that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians). Reminding myself that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and that His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah). That He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalms), and maybe He'll sell one for us?

All that I ask is that you would pray for us. Just for a minute. I'll be updating how God is working as it happens (or at least shortly thereafter).

Let me be clear on a couple of things: I do not believe that God is punishing us or that if we just had more faith, He would move. I also do not believe that He will take care of us because all He wants to do is bless us. I do fully believe that He is testing us, trying us, and working in our lives through this hurt in order to bring glory to Himself and to prune us. If I see any comments that say otherwise, I reserve the right to delete them on the spot.

Five-Minute Friday: Rest

Linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama again today! I forget how much these short posts really do re-energize me until I do them. :)

Five minutes, without worrying about being perfect. Just creativity flowing. Ahh...

This week's topic is rest. How. Appropriate!

Go!

Rest. What is that, exactly? I honestly don't know. But I do know this.

Rest isn't when you're half-crazed, trying to round up the things you need for a third week away from home.

Rest isn't when you're once again in the van, listening to your baby cry because she wants to get out and play.

Rest isn't when your husband is frantically trying to find people who will sponsor the radio station he's managing.

Rest isn't when you're in a smoke-filled room for the third night in a row, wondering how on earth you'll ever get rid of that smell.

Rest isn't when you're left wondering why or how or when...it isn't when you're stressed beyond measure, trying to trust and have faith when everything is crashing around you. Again.

Rest?

Rest is reading scripture over and over again because, yes, Jeremiah gets it!

Rest is remembering that God loves, He hasn't forgotten, that He does all things for good.

Rest is the peace that steals in, unnoticed, amidst the chaos and stress, and lets husband and wife enjoy dancing when little one has gone to bed.

Has my life been restful lately? No. But He has led me to find rest anyway.

Stop! 

The grace and the craziness never stop flowing! :)

Plans and Pleas

Life is slightly crazy right now.

My husband and I are suddenly faced with no direction, no purpose, and no job. Our plans have failed, drastically. We believe that God is faithful, but I'm not going to lie: it's hard. Lamentations 3:21-24 hard.

Go read those verses. I'll wait here until you've finished reading them. Go!

I know that God has a plan, that He is faithful, and that He works all things to the good of them who love Him, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

But.

We're stressed beyond measure, hurting because of other things going on in life, and pouring out our hearts before Him right now.

That verse in Psalms about feeling like your bones are being crushed? Yeah...we're there.

So prayers would be appreciated. Very much appreciated.

Thank. You.

Mommy Needs a Caffeine IV...

These days, it's sometimes all I can do to keep going. For realz.

I wonder if coffee could cure this exhaustion.

Yeah, it's that bad.

My husband finally has a good job that gives him awesome hours. Well, mostly awesome. Because in reality, it's an all-the-time gig. Radio station manager. Take that, Walmart!

He's pretty much always going, and since it's his job to get the station to a self-sustaining point, he's been stressed to the max for the past two weeks. Oh, and the commute it 3-4 hours away. Woot. Thankfully it's one he makes only once a week, but that also means that he's gone for 4+ days at a time.

I've been going with him, for obvious reasons. I mean, really, if I have the ability, I'm gonna stick with him!

Of course, Abby has been having "fun" while traveling. Ugh...and she's teething.

This adds up to tired daddy, tired baby, tired mommy...and a ransacked house that really needs cleaning. Especially since we're only here for a couple of days at a time anyway.

Which brings me to my point...


Anyone want to some over and help? Please?? 

Five-Minute Friday: Beauty

Such a timely topic! I have to say that these short posts are the highlight of my week. Just writing bits of my heart and learning how to say exactly what I mean the first time...it's both relaxing and therapeutic! :)

Again, in case you're new, Lisa-Jo has offered us bloggy folks the freedom of just writing, whether it sounds just right or not. Interested in writing your own FMF post? Check out The Gypsy Mama for more info!

Start!

There is beauty in the everyday, the routine, the set times and set activities. There is a simplistic, restful way about rhythms and predictability.

There is also beauty in the tragic, the times in life where our muscles are pulled from our bones and life hurts. So deep, so painful, and we wonder if there will ever be beauty again.

Times when this world takes its toll, times when life seems unbearable. When the hard, dark questions rise and the soul longs to know if there truly is beauty or if it's all just a facade.

I know so many people right now where their lives seem so dark, ugly, and beauty sounds like a myth. But this is the lie that we have heard and believed for so long. Just a lie.

Tomorrow shows what today truly held, and in the midst of suffering, torment, hurt, and anguish, the soul is made pure, beautiful, and whole. The refiner's fire hurts, burns, and seems to steal away the beauty, but in reality the impurities are being scraped away and what is left is more beautiful than anyone could have ever imagined.

Photo Credit: http://nashikchandi.com/images/SilverMaking.jpg

Stop! 

Let me leave you with this thought: no matter where your life seems to be right now, beautiful or ugly, remember that God is faithful, and He is always making us into His Son's beautiful image.

Carried

She's quiet and content while I wrangle up some laundry. While I spray liquid allergy relief on sofas and pillows and beds and carpet. I sense her drifting off, her body slowly relaxing while I stay busy. Then I realize her head is down, her body quietly inhaling and exhaling. I grab some soup, some nourishment, and sit down for just a bit.

I feel her. Her still frame, her hot breath, completely at peace, at ease.

She sleeps on my back, in a baby carrier. Completely oblivious to all the things I'm doing, to all of the movements that my busy hands make. But she knows I'm there. She rests in perfect peace.

How is it that I am her rock? How is it that fragile, floundering me can possibly be her encouragement, her strength?

She wakes, balks a bit at the snugness, then gives in to rest, to sleep, again.

How often do I balk at the too-tight closeness of God? How often do I balk at His mercy, His love, His peace, only to finally give in to rest?

She will wake, will balk, will want put down. Or I will tire out from holding her and need my own rest. I lose patience, grow weary, and crave rest. For time on my own. Why do I balk at the One who wants to carry me? Balk at the One who can give me rest, grace, peace when I need it? All the time?

She doesn't know God. She knows me. She knows her Mama and her Daddy. When we forget peace, when we decide we don't want to listen or to do, she learns to balk from Him. To struggle and fight instead of lean in and rest.

It's such a humbling thought: she learns who God is from us. She learns how to perceive God from how we teach about Him.

Am I ready to teach her, show her God? I know that I'll never be ready if I'm trying to be perfect. But can I teach her to trust, to be humble, to rely and lean on Him? Can I teach her about faith, about love, about peace?

The only way I can teach is by acting it out. Daily. Hourly. Every moment will be taken into consideration, every act of mine will influence her walk with Him. Am I ready? I'll never be.

Unless...

I learn to lean and rest. Trust in the Everlasting Arms. Under the wing of the Almighty. In the safety of Him.

After all, He carries us.

Abby being carried in my fancy-schmancy Ergobaby