The Greatest of These is Love

My husband has this specific message that he's believed in ever since we met. (In fact, hearing him talk about it at the Baptist Student Union devotion time was what first drew me to him!) It's a simple message that has such a profound impact: love.

It's a message that he was blessed to share with about 30 youth last Friday evening at a lock-in (hosted by our friends, Brian and Laura Leigh). How if you say you love God but hate your brother, you're a liar. If you don't love according to 1 Corinthians 13, you don't really love. (And, yes, we all fail in that area because we aren't perfect, but this is our standard.) And this love is not just found in 1 John or 1 Corinthians but throughout the Bible. In fact, my husband firmly believes that the Bible is nothing but God saying He loves us and wants a relationship with us. And I can't help but see the same theme.

This morning, for example, I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. From chapter 5 to chapter 7, there's a theme that I noticed. Can you guess what it is? Yep...love! "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...If you remember that your brother has a complaint against you, go make it right...Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy...Blessed are you when men persecute you and spitefully revile against you for My sake...Judge not that you be not judged, for in the manner that you judge you yourself shall be judged..."

In this, Jesus' first message to, well, anyone (as far as we know), He makes it clear that the difference between the Judaic law and the Christian "law" is love. Love is what makes Jesus the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets. I have heard and even said many times that the difference between the two is the heart in which something is done...but if it isn't done in love, is it really done with the right heart?

I think that's what the real difference between the Pharisees and Jesus was. They were doing lists of things because they looked right, but Jesus did all of His actions out of love.

The lists of things to do, items to check off, they're nothing without love. Isn't that what Paul was saying?

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

We could easily say, "If I read my Bible, pray for others, go to church and Sunday School, if I lead the women's ministry and volunteer to lead every youth event, if I visit the homeless and the shut-ins and give half of my salary to the church but have not love, I am nothing."

Yes, it looks good on paper. It looks great to everyone at church and in the community. But to God? Paul once again says it best.

"...If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless. But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ..." (Philippians 3:4-8).

When Paul says that he counts these great things that he has done as rubbish, he means the very lowest form of crap. (Sorry to be crass, but the actual word used here in the Greek? Well, it's the most vulgar form of the word "poo" you can get...) These things that we do, that we strive for? Compared to knowing Christ, they are rubbish.

And when we don't do them out. of. love, they are worthless.

It boils down to this: if we love God, we will love our brothers (and sisters). And if we love God, we will serve Him out of love, not fear or duty.

How are you showing love today?

Sharing my heart this morning over at Ann's.

Five Minute Friday: Remember

It's been a while since I stopped and wrote out a Five Minute Friday...but in the stillness of this minute (or five...) I'm going to once again join Lisa-Jo and a host of other bloggers as we Remember...

Start!

It's been nearly 9 months. 9 beautiful, life-changing, never-wanna-go-back months. She's starting to pull herself along the furniture...been pulling up for a while now. She's a mess, and she gets into everything, but I'm loving every second of it!

But before that? It had been almost 2 years. Since the heartache and the hurt and the anger and the pain. Since the first miscarriage that went on to two. Since God drew me close when I felt so far and allowed me a glimpse into the sufferings His Son went through...and that fellowship sustains me even now.

And today? Today, this week, I celebrate five wonderful years of getting to know the man I now call husband and who my daughter calls Daddy. Five years of hurt and anger at times and love and understanding, better-than-happily-ever-after at others. Five years of being goofy and turning right around and having a deep, theological discussion because that's how we roll, y'all. Five years of getting to know each other better...and I can't wait to see where this road takes us.

Life...good and bad. Life...worth remembering.

Stop!

And just because I feel like it (read: because I can and want to...) I'm going to leave you with a picture that I want to remember every year from now on...

Abby, Daddy, Mommy, and Aunt Shea at the Pumpkin Patch

Today we met with the search committee again. Which is amazing simply because this morning was rough.

Abby woke up at 6. Drew had a headache/sinus pressure that kept him in bed. And I was up earlier than I have been in a while. Abby finally went back to sleep...right before we left for church. And didn't get her nap out until, oh, around 4. PM.

Thankfully, even with the hiccups, the meeting went well. In fact, I'd say it went very well. We're waiting to hear back from them right now.

Of course, this being a small country church, there isn't a lot of money in it. And even though we aren't in it for the money by any means, we know that it will still take a certain amount to keep us on our feet. (We don't know exactly how much he would be making right now if he did accept the job. We just know that there isn't a lot of money in it.) So, essentially, we would begin praying for another job to supplement, whether it's something for me to do or for him to do.

I'm so thankful today for His grace-gifts. This morning, while I was taking a shower, Great is Thy Faithfulness came to my mind. Then we sung it in church. Then it played on the classical Pandora station. To me, it's obvious that it was meant for me today. To revel in the fact that He is faithful, that His mercies are new every morning, that He gives "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." That no matter how dark, how lonely life may seem, He is there. He is faithful. He is good. And He knows exactly where we are. He has blessed us beyond measure, and I realize that more and more each day that passes. He has given us so much, we who have so very little to give. And He doesn't expect for us to give Him anything but our love in return. 

 From Lamentations 3:
22 The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
     For His compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
   “Therefore I have hope in Him.”

What Happened Last Night

Meeting with the church last night went very well! We really enjoyed talking with the youth, and we even had a blast with the youth search committee! We're going to be visiting the church on Sunday and talking with the search committee afterwards again.

When we got home last night, both Drew and I felt really good about the prospect of being the youth minister there. It's a small youth group with an age gap between 7th and 8th graders and college-aged kids. But we know that we could very well leave a good foundation for them, which is exciting.

The other possible problem is that it is a part-time position. More than likely, Drew will need to get another job to fill in the gaps.

Your prayers are coveted as we seek God's will.

On another note, this morning, I woke up to another grace-gift: my morning glory vines, which have never had more than 2 flowers or 1 color bloom at the same time, had 7 blooms with both colors!! God is truly gracious and loving, and I'm so thankful that He cares enough for me to show me His love when I'm feeling especially down.

Thank you all for your prayers, your love, and your support. It means so very much to me.

Life Right Now: Drew has an Interview!!

I have some great news! Drew has an interview tonight!!

It's a part-time position as a youth minister, so it won't cover all of our financial needs. But it's a start! And it also happens to be with the age group that we both have a passion for! This position does have the potential to become full-time, too.

I'm also thankful that it's at a church nearby. We won't have to move! And we can coordinate events with the youth minister that Drew interned under for a couple of years!

Now, while I'm excited about this opportunity, I'm not going to lie: I'm also concerned about where we are now. Our daughter is actually getting to the end of her extensive wardrobe (for some reason, we didn't receive a lot of clothes after 6 months), and she is also outgrowing some of her cloth diaper covers. It's just been a lot lately, period, and to add these smaller things on top of it overwhelms. And while I have been doing fairly well, I tend to avoid it until I'm crushed under the weight of it all. Which is where I am now. I will say that at least God has been good to let my husband and I take turns with being overwhelmed. But I digress.

I want to thank each of you for your prayers and your sweet comments. It really does mean a lot to me.

A Note About Life Right Now and the God Who Can Handle It!!

I've been keeping certain aspects of my life hidden from this blog, choosing instead to put my more inspired thoughts here. Well, things are not going as we had hoped. Not at all.

But I've come to realize something incredibly important: if I hide all of what God does in my life, then I am hiding the things that I should praise Him for. I'm hiding His goodness, His grace. Even in the hard times, when I feel like nothing is going the way it should.

Right now, my husband is without at job once more. This, by the way, is the third or fourth time in a year. (I've lost count, to be honest...) This is the fourth or fifth month (depending on how you look at things) that husband has been without a job in the past year. And we're leaning completely on God to provide for us. Totally.

We've talked about it I don't know how many times, but we both agree that my role is to stay at home and take care of the house and our daughter. I don't know exactly what I can do from home to help (I'm not a salesperson, and I don't take time to do crafts, even though I hoard them on Pinterest!) I don't know if I should do something from home to help.

We're currently praying, seeking God's face, asking Him to show us where He would have us. We're waiting on miracles, and He has already provided one. One that should help us pay a couple of bills and keep food on the table and gas in our truck for a little longer, anyway. I'm not going to lie: we're also hurting. I'm not going to go into details, but we're being hurt from several people that we trusted. And my husband is also upset because though we've been trying to follow God, we are getting no where. Fast. It's enough of an effort to keep food on the table, much less clothes on our backs.

I've been holding onto the verses in Luke 12 that speak of God clothing the lilies and feeding the sparrows. That He loves us so much more than they. That He will provide for our needs, that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians). Reminding myself that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and that His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah). That He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalms), and maybe He'll sell one for us?

All that I ask is that you would pray for us. Just for a minute. I'll be updating how God is working as it happens (or at least shortly thereafter).

Let me be clear on a couple of things: I do not believe that God is punishing us or that if we just had more faith, He would move. I also do not believe that He will take care of us because all He wants to do is bless us. I do fully believe that He is testing us, trying us, and working in our lives through this hurt in order to bring glory to Himself and to prune us. If I see any comments that say otherwise, I reserve the right to delete them on the spot.

Five-Minute Friday: Rest

Linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama again today! I forget how much these short posts really do re-energize me until I do them. :)

Five minutes, without worrying about being perfect. Just creativity flowing. Ahh...

This week's topic is rest. How. Appropriate!

Go!

Rest. What is that, exactly? I honestly don't know. But I do know this.

Rest isn't when you're half-crazed, trying to round up the things you need for a third week away from home.

Rest isn't when you're once again in the van, listening to your baby cry because she wants to get out and play.

Rest isn't when your husband is frantically trying to find people who will sponsor the radio station he's managing.

Rest isn't when you're in a smoke-filled room for the third night in a row, wondering how on earth you'll ever get rid of that smell.

Rest isn't when you're left wondering why or how or when...it isn't when you're stressed beyond measure, trying to trust and have faith when everything is crashing around you. Again.

Rest?

Rest is reading scripture over and over again because, yes, Jeremiah gets it!

Rest is remembering that God loves, He hasn't forgotten, that He does all things for good.

Rest is the peace that steals in, unnoticed, amidst the chaos and stress, and lets husband and wife enjoy dancing when little one has gone to bed.

Has my life been restful lately? No. But He has led me to find rest anyway.

Stop! 

The grace and the craziness never stop flowing! :)

Plans and Pleas

Life is slightly crazy right now.

My husband and I are suddenly faced with no direction, no purpose, and no job. Our plans have failed, drastically. We believe that God is faithful, but I'm not going to lie: it's hard. Lamentations 3:21-24 hard.

Go read those verses. I'll wait here until you've finished reading them. Go!

I know that God has a plan, that He is faithful, and that He works all things to the good of them who love Him, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

But.

We're stressed beyond measure, hurting because of other things going on in life, and pouring out our hearts before Him right now.

That verse in Psalms about feeling like your bones are being crushed? Yeah...we're there.

So prayers would be appreciated. Very much appreciated.

Thank. You.

Mommy Needs a Caffeine IV...

These days, it's sometimes all I can do to keep going. For realz.

I wonder if coffee could cure this exhaustion.

Yeah, it's that bad.

My husband finally has a good job that gives him awesome hours. Well, mostly awesome. Because in reality, it's an all-the-time gig. Radio station manager. Take that, Walmart!

He's pretty much always going, and since it's his job to get the station to a self-sustaining point, he's been stressed to the max for the past two weeks. Oh, and the commute it 3-4 hours away. Woot. Thankfully it's one he makes only once a week, but that also means that he's gone for 4+ days at a time.

I've been going with him, for obvious reasons. I mean, really, if I have the ability, I'm gonna stick with him!

Of course, Abby has been having "fun" while traveling. Ugh...and she's teething.

This adds up to tired daddy, tired baby, tired mommy...and a ransacked house that really needs cleaning. Especially since we're only here for a couple of days at a time anyway.

Which brings me to my point...


Anyone want to some over and help? Please?? 

Multitudes on Mondays: Love Letters and Lists

I'm not sure when I wrote my first love letter to my husband. I know that I was already in high school and feeling like a failure at love. I had one boyfriend when I was in junior high. That "relationship" lasted for 7 days. And then I had a boyfriend for 6 days during my senior year. Woot.

While I had standards (which were pretty much limited to no sex), I definitely was open to the idea of dating. There was one major problem, though: my dad happened to be a pastor. Well, that and I was a good girl who never dreamed of what went on at parties. I wasn't exactly girlfriend material, at least not to red-blooded American teenage boys.

Sometime between my junior year of high school and my freshman year of college, something began to change. I started seeing just how ridiculous high school relationships were (at least most of the ones I saw first-hand). I also began realizing that I didn't just want any guy. I wanted the right guy. And so my love letters began.

Many times, they were written when my heart had been crushed. As the only one in a trio of girls without a boyfriend, lonely was an accurate description of my life then. Lonely and, well, forgotten. My friends didn't mean any harm by it, but it was so much easier for them and their boyfriends to double date or hang out...without me. I was the third wheel, and I knew it. So my letters are stained with tears in some places, tears because I knew that someone was missing in my life, and I mourned that he wasn't with me yet.

I also looked at what the Bible says about the characteristics of a godly man and a godly woman. I knew that I had a lot to learn about being a godly woman, and I began praying for my husband to be a godly man. Then one day, I made the list. Just a few things that I wanted to see in my husband: who love God first and me second, who is in a growing relationship with Christ, who makes me feel safe, who is a deep thinker and thinks for himself, who is committed to following God, who is attracted to my inner beauty, who can make my day better by being there, who can cook (!), who makes me laugh, who is somewhat of a romantic, who loves music, who appreciates my quirks, who is kind and not a liar, who can control his anger...

Can I just say that after re-reading these, I realize that I'm describing my husband to a T? (Yes, he even cooks!) These are the things that I wanted, and God blessed exceedingly abundantly beyond all that I could ask or think!

Soon, it was my last summer before college. That summer, I read a book that changed my perspective on dating and marriage completely: When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. While I don't agree completely with all that they said, one thing stuck out: they didn't kiss until their wedding day. The more that I thought about it, the more that I wanted that for myself and my future husband. What better way to celebrate our love, to show our commitment to each other, than to save that first kiss? Thankfully, I had not kissed anyone before that, and I truly believe that while I felt alone and unloved, God was protecting me from myself.

Why do I say that? Is kissing so wrong? No! Of course it isn't! And yet it is. It was for my husband and me because neither of us trusted ourselves with just a kiss. And my husband had, years before, made a vow that he wouldn't kiss a woman unless she were his bride. Technically, it didn't matter if I had kissed someone previously, but I'm glad that I hadn't simply because we were on an even playing field when it came to kissing and other physical contact.

Now, all of this happened before I met the man who would be my husband. To a young girl who graduated from a public high school in May 2006. To a young woman who met her future husband in August 2006. (It really is quite a story. Perhaps I should share sometime? There's even a last-minute breaking of the engagement and a reunion!)

And, for the record, my husband still takes those letters out at times and reads them.

Gifts from the heart:

Letters to my future husband
Letters to my baby girl (begun in high school)
Hopes and dreams and wishes written down
List of who he is marking Song of Solomon
Prayers upon prayers written down, marking days and times and seasons of life
Markings in my Bible: notes on when, where, how it applies
Underlinings, circles, and highlighters noting important Words of Life
Bulletins and random papers scattered throughout
Notebooks and pens, writing style that changes with years
Random lists written in between pages
Notes from classes, written and preserved
Notes and underlines in textbooks
Poems and stories, handwritten and typed up
Professors and teachers who made me write
Doodles and pen marks on days that bored me
Gel pens and colored Sharpie markers and coloring pencils and crayons
The simple joy of coloring a page


The permanence of a pen, ink that tattoos our lives...