Nov 16, 2010

On Blogging

Let's just pretend that I have never ever begun a blog. Period. Let's pretend that I have just started blogging...

and this is my first post ever.

Clean slates always feel good to me. No expectations, no failures. Just open.

So much like how I would love for the rest of my life to look like. I'd love to not have to deal with my own expectations that add up and close in on me. Not my parents' expectations, not my husband's, but my own. I cannot even do something as simple as write without editing and reviewing what I've written because, well, I don't like it. It sounds dumb to me.

That's what I want for this blog--a place where I don't have to be perfect. A place where I can let go and be me...the woman God created me to be. The wife God intended me to be. The mother He plans for me to be. Imperfections, scars, bruises, and all. Just me.

And just maybe I won't feel the need to make everything sound better than it is. Or talk only about the good that is in life. Because I know what it's like to feel down. I know what it's like to hate God, to think He has left me alone, to feel abandoned and outcast. I know what it is to hate waking up in the mornings and spend all day criticizing myself for not doing everything I think I should.

Maybe I won't leave those parts out because I need to get them out.

I need to share my stories, my hurts and my failures. I need to share what awesome things God is doing in my life. The good and the bad. The everything. Because maybe someone needs to hear. Just maybe someone needs my story too.