The Gracious Struggle

I've been getting blessed out of my socks for the past 2 days from reading the Compassion bloggers in Ecuador. (Twitter hashtag #cbec) If you haven't checked them out, I suggest you do. And be prepared. Tissues, your Bible, a journal to write down thoughts...

It's life-changing, heart-wrenching, and eye-opening. All of it. From reading about God's great grace He gives to a pig farmer from Canada to the grace He gives to an Ole Miss fan from Alabama. And every picture, every thought in between.

Still I'm caught in the struggle between, "We don't have the money," and, "We have so much stuff." Most of it was accumulated over time or given to us by many generous people at Abby's baby showers. (She has several outfits that she never wore. I kid you not.) What do we need? What can we sell? Send? Give?

I'm still not sure. And this has been mulling through my mind for over a year. Maybe I'm a slow learner, but I do know this: God is calling me to something beyond this American mindset. To something more than over-indulgence. As Ann pointed out this morning, “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” Ezekiel 16:49 (emphasis Ann's)

I don't want to be guilty of not helping the poor and needy.

That's what I keep coming back to. That and the fact that even with a very low salary, even with our missing bills left and right, we're still richer than most people in the world today. We have so much, so much. And why can't we give?

I'm ashamed to admit that we could sponsor a child. If we got rid of the Internet and Netflix. And when I look at the faces of the hurting and the poor, that's all I want to do. But I also know this: sponsoring a child, for us, is something that we have to commit to. There's no turning back. And some months, we can't pay our Internet or Netflix bill on time.

So I pray. I wait. And I'm yearning for the day when God opens up a way for us to sponsor a child. Or two. Or ten. When He allows for us to help in a tangible way. And, oh, I hope it comes soon!

If you would like to sponsor a child through Compassion, you can click here for more info.