Today? Ugh...I'd rather not talk about today.
I had another meltdown. (Let's see...that makes at least one every day for the past week...) I think it might be stressed-induced. Because I've been stretched thin. Because I've been concerned about our financial state. I know the verses, and I can sing the songs, but it. is. hard.
It's hard when your ideas of how things should be come crashing down. Again. It's hard when things seem to be falling apart. For real. Even our hot water heater leaked last Monday...and it went into Abby's room. Our landlord had it repaired that day, but there's still damage to the room. (It stinks...and the carpet is somewhat stained.)
But I know that God is faithful, even when we don't feel like it. He is there, leading us and guiding us, even when we hurt. Even when we don't see it, He is there. And He is waiting to comfort us.
I spent some time with Him this afternoon. Some self-induced Mommy "Quiet Time Out" time. It was good. So very good. And I felt a huge sense of peace wash over me. I gave God all of the things I felt I needed or wanted to accomplish. And guess what? Some things got done. Others didn't. And we're okay. It's such a relief to type those words and to know they are true.
He is faithful. He has given us so very much. All I need to do is look...
Counting the gifts today...
long walks in the woods behind our house
seeing the pond my husband mentioned before
new car seat bought mostly with gift cards!
moist pumpkin spice muffins from The Pioneer Woman YUM!
sweet smiles and kisses from Abby
hearing her belly laugh as she plays with her daddy
watching her grow up so quickly...waving bye bye, saying words like blue and book, trying to talk and walk already...
chatting with my #clothdiaper friends on Twitter
Drew taking care of me in just the right way when I need it most
Him taking Abby for me in the mornings/evenings so that I can relax
being in the top 5...and praying for God's will to be done
learning to praise Him "Even if..." (Dan. 3:16-18)
the hours and days that I feel aren't worth it...and the sweet look of total trust that says it is
figuring out that the striving isn't worth it...now if only I could live it!
coming back to this place. right here. and feeling at home. :)
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