The Greatest of These is Love

My husband has this specific message that he's believed in ever since we met. (In fact, hearing him talk about it at the Baptist Student Union devotion time was what first drew me to him!) It's a simple message that has such a profound impact: love.

It's a message that he was blessed to share with about 30 youth last Friday evening at a lock-in (hosted by our friends, Brian and Laura Leigh). How if you say you love God but hate your brother, you're a liar. If you don't love according to 1 Corinthians 13, you don't really love. (And, yes, we all fail in that area because we aren't perfect, but this is our standard.) And this love is not just found in 1 John or 1 Corinthians but throughout the Bible. In fact, my husband firmly believes that the Bible is nothing but God saying He loves us and wants a relationship with us. And I can't help but see the same theme.

This morning, for example, I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. From chapter 5 to chapter 7, there's a theme that I noticed. Can you guess what it is? Yep...love! "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...If you remember that your brother has a complaint against you, go make it right...Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy...Blessed are you when men persecute you and spitefully revile against you for My sake...Judge not that you be not judged, for in the manner that you judge you yourself shall be judged..."

In this, Jesus' first message to, well, anyone (as far as we know), He makes it clear that the difference between the Judaic law and the Christian "law" is love. Love is what makes Jesus the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets. I have heard and even said many times that the difference between the two is the heart in which something is done...but if it isn't done in love, is it really done with the right heart?

I think that's what the real difference between the Pharisees and Jesus was. They were doing lists of things because they looked right, but Jesus did all of His actions out of love.

The lists of things to do, items to check off, they're nothing without love. Isn't that what Paul was saying?

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

We could easily say, "If I read my Bible, pray for others, go to church and Sunday School, if I lead the women's ministry and volunteer to lead every youth event, if I visit the homeless and the shut-ins and give half of my salary to the church but have not love, I am nothing."

Yes, it looks good on paper. It looks great to everyone at church and in the community. But to God? Paul once again says it best.

"...If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless. But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ..." (Philippians 3:4-8).

When Paul says that he counts these great things that he has done as rubbish, he means the very lowest form of crap. (Sorry to be crass, but the actual word used here in the Greek? Well, it's the most vulgar form of the word "poo" you can get...) These things that we do, that we strive for? Compared to knowing Christ, they are rubbish.

And when we don't do them out. of. love, they are worthless.

It boils down to this: if we love God, we will love our brothers (and sisters). And if we love God, we will serve Him out of love, not fear or duty.

How are you showing love today?

Sharing my heart this morning over at Ann's.

The Gracious Struggle

I've been getting blessed out of my socks for the past 2 days from reading the Compassion bloggers in Ecuador. (Twitter hashtag #cbec) If you haven't checked them out, I suggest you do. And be prepared. Tissues, your Bible, a journal to write down thoughts...

It's life-changing, heart-wrenching, and eye-opening. All of it. From reading about God's great grace He gives to a pig farmer from Canada to the grace He gives to an Ole Miss fan from Alabama. And every picture, every thought in between.

Still I'm caught in the struggle between, "We don't have the money," and, "We have so much stuff." Most of it was accumulated over time or given to us by many generous people at Abby's baby showers. (She has several outfits that she never wore. I kid you not.) What do we need? What can we sell? Send? Give?

I'm still not sure. And this has been mulling through my mind for over a year. Maybe I'm a slow learner, but I do know this: God is calling me to something beyond this American mindset. To something more than over-indulgence. As Ann pointed out this morning, “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” Ezekiel 16:49 (emphasis Ann's)

I don't want to be guilty of not helping the poor and needy.

That's what I keep coming back to. That and the fact that even with a very low salary, even with our missing bills left and right, we're still richer than most people in the world today. We have so much, so much. And why can't we give?

I'm ashamed to admit that we could sponsor a child. If we got rid of the Internet and Netflix. And when I look at the faces of the hurting and the poor, that's all I want to do. But I also know this: sponsoring a child, for us, is something that we have to commit to. There's no turning back. And some months, we can't pay our Internet or Netflix bill on time.

So I pray. I wait. And I'm yearning for the day when God opens up a way for us to sponsor a child. Or two. Or ten. When He allows for us to help in a tangible way. And, oh, I hope it comes soon!

If you would like to sponsor a child through Compassion, you can click here for more info.

Counting Gifts Today...Because I Need the Reminder...

Today? Ugh...I'd rather not talk about today.

I had another meltdown. (Let's see...that makes at least one every day for the past week...) I think it might be stressed-induced. Because I've been stretched thin. Because I've been concerned about our financial state. I know the verses, and I can sing the songs, but it. is. hard.

It's hard when your ideas of how things should be come crashing down. Again. It's hard when things seem to be falling apart. For real. Even our hot water heater leaked last Monday...and it went into Abby's room. Our landlord had it repaired that day, but there's still damage to the room. (It stinks...and the carpet is somewhat stained.)

But I know that God is faithful, even when we don't feel like it. He is there, leading us and guiding us, even when we hurt. Even when we don't see it, He is there. And He is waiting to comfort us.

I spent some time with Him this afternoon. Some self-induced Mommy "Quiet Time Out" time. It was good. So very good. And I felt a huge sense of peace wash over me. I gave God all of the things I felt I needed or wanted to accomplish. And guess what? Some things got done. Others didn't. And we're okay. It's such a relief to type those words and to know they are true.

He is faithful. He has given us so very much. All I need to do is look...

Counting the gifts today...

long walks in the woods behind our house

seeing the pond my husband mentioned before

new car seat bought mostly with gift cards! 

moist pumpkin spice muffins from The Pioneer Woman YUM!

sweet smiles and kisses from Abby

hearing her belly laugh as she plays with her daddy

watching her grow up so quickly...waving bye bye, saying words like blue and book, trying to talk and walk already...

chatting with my #clothdiaper friends on Twitter

Drew taking care of me in just the right way when I need it most

Him taking Abby for me in the mornings/evenings so that I can relax

being in the top 5...and praying for God's will to be done

learning to praise Him "Even if..." (Dan. 3:16-18)

the hours and days that I feel aren't worth it...and the sweet look of total trust that says it is


figuring out that the striving isn't worth it...now if only I could live it!

coming back to this place. right here. and feeling at home. :)  

Five Minute Friday: Remember

It's been a while since I stopped and wrote out a Five Minute Friday...but in the stillness of this minute (or five...) I'm going to once again join Lisa-Jo and a host of other bloggers as we Remember...

Start!

It's been nearly 9 months. 9 beautiful, life-changing, never-wanna-go-back months. She's starting to pull herself along the furniture...been pulling up for a while now. She's a mess, and she gets into everything, but I'm loving every second of it!

But before that? It had been almost 2 years. Since the heartache and the hurt and the anger and the pain. Since the first miscarriage that went on to two. Since God drew me close when I felt so far and allowed me a glimpse into the sufferings His Son went through...and that fellowship sustains me even now.

And today? Today, this week, I celebrate five wonderful years of getting to know the man I now call husband and who my daughter calls Daddy. Five years of hurt and anger at times and love and understanding, better-than-happily-ever-after at others. Five years of being goofy and turning right around and having a deep, theological discussion because that's how we roll, y'all. Five years of getting to know each other better...and I can't wait to see where this road takes us.

Life...good and bad. Life...worth remembering.

Stop!

And just because I feel like it (read: because I can and want to...) I'm going to leave you with a picture that I want to remember every year from now on...

Abby, Daddy, Mommy, and Aunt Shea at the Pumpkin Patch

He Numbers Our Wanderings...

You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? 

                                                                                                                                         Psalm 56:8

So often it can feel like God isn't listening. That He doesn't hear us or care about what we're going through. This is especially true when we're in the wilderness, the desert, the valley, or in the midst of suffering. We easily, readily believe the lie that we're not good enough. That we aren't loved.

It's so easy to think, "If God loved me, then..." 

Things would be easier. 

Life would be kinder. 

Only the evil people would suffer. 

But He does love us. And often the times when we hurt the most are the times when we draw closer to Him and grow deeper in our relationship with Him. 

"For we know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

They may not feel good. They may be incredibly painful. But we can rest knowing that they will work together for good.

The blessed promise in all of this is that He numbers our wandering and keeps our tears in a bottle. He hasn't forgotten us. Me. You. No, He numbers our wanderings. He keeps our tears. He is there with you today. Will you rest in that? That He knows where you are, that you have been crying to Him, and that He will make it work for good?

Grace Sufficient for Me

It's been a few weeks since I've been on here. I've been trying to spend more time offline lately, and when I am on, I gravitate towards Sisters 'N Cloth. But my heart wants to share all of the things on my mind...and that's only possible here. Well, not only possible, but I feel safer here.

Anyway...

We've been getting by lately. Drew is still looking for a part-time position that will help pay our bigger bills. So far, either God has made it impossible for certain jobs to go through (applications only on Internet and Drew couldn't get the online application to work) or Drew has felt such a strong feeling of, "NO! This isn't right!" that he hasn't applied. I even held a job for a day. Then quit because I didn't have a peace about it (read: I was freaking out so badly that I couldn't eat).

We've been looking, searching, and praying for a job. We've also had our faith tested more than once (okay, it's more of an ongoing thing.) We've seen God pull through and work miracles. Not always in the way we'd like, but they're miracles nonetheless.

For example, Abby has needed more diapers. My sister-in-law bought a box of diapers for $20...and there were some girly prints that she passed on to Abby and me. As well as a one-size cover. And a wool cover. And lots of inserts. I had been praying for God to provide them...but I never expected so very much!!

Another example is that Abby has needed clothes. In her size. Not only did I have a friend from college send me several outfits, but my mom also bought her some sweet outfits this past weekend. (Of course, we totally skipped the 6-9 month outfits, but I'm ok with that!)

Needless to say, though we've been worried and scared and stressed, He has been faithful.

This morning, we found that our water heater has been leaking. Probably for a while. And now Abby's carpeted floor is soaked. But we called the maintenance man. And hopefully we won't have to replace the water heater. And God once again showed us His grace and His mercy because the wires to the water heater had been in standing water...

Logically, we should have been fried. But the only "damage" done has been the soaked carpet and wet clothes/shoes that were in the closet. God is so gracious!! Once again, I'm amazed at His love and His care.

Just an hour or so ago, I was worried about damage and the repairs...about how could we even begin to expect them to fix it when we can't pay rent...and now I'm just thankful to be alive!

Perspective really does change our attitude.

I know I'm rambling (and it's pretty bad, too), but I guess what I'm getting at is that though we are faithless, He remains faithful. When we're scared, He already has a plan in place. When we fall, He not only watched us but He's waiting to pick us back up again. He already knows that we don't have it all together...so why do we hide it from Him? He knows our weakest points and our strongest. That's why He says that His grace is sufficient, for His strength is made perfect in weakness.

May I always be reminded of my weaknesses...

Whom do You Follow?

Something in the Christian church has been plaguing my heart lately. Something small, almost insignificant; something some would say isn't an issue at all.

But I have to wonder: have we so focused our beliefs on Jesus that we have excluded God?

I see it in the hymns we sing: What a Friend We Have in Jesus, Soon and Very Soon, Since I Have Been Redeemed. I hear it in the words that are preached. I even see it in the way that we (I?) think. How often have you heard the question, "How could a loving God ___?" We see Jesus' compassion, His love, and forget the rest of the Trinity. That Jesus is only part of God, that He is not synonymous with God, and that God is full of wrath.

I see it so often in the words my friends type online: Jesus is the King, Jesus is so good, would Jesus really want for you to do such and such?

Yes, Jesus is integral to the relationship we have with God. If it weren't for Him, we would never be good enough to enter Heaven. But.

Jesus is NOT the fullness of God. Yes, in Him the fullness of the Godhead dwells bodily (Col. 2:9), but to worship Jesus to the exclusion of the other two-thirds of the Trinity? That's where the danger lies.

God encompasses so much more than Jesus and His earthly ministry. Even His heavenly ministry. God encompasses the beginning of time itself, the harsh punishment He gave to Adam and Eve, the exile of Cain, the destruction of the world as it was with the flood, the annihilation of Sodom and Gomorrah, the harsh and even cruel punishments of the nations that He chose to punish through the Israelites. God also encompasses the Spirit's work in the prophets, in certain men from the Old Testament, and in our lives today. The boldness to speak what we should, the words He gives us for a hurting friend...these are not done by the work of Jesus but of God the Father and God the Spirit.

Call me a heretic, but I believe that giving Jesus more credit than He is due is just as damaging to the church as saying that Jesus is nothing more than an angel, a brother to Satan. Call me a heretic, but I believe that this slight distortion can be just as damaging, if not moreso, to the church as Gnosticism was and has been. Call me a heretic, but I think we need to see a change.

We need to see the Bible as it stands as a whole, not just the New Testament. We need to view the Bible as one letter from one God who happens to have 3 parts. And we need to make sure our speech makes it clear that we not only follow Christ but that we also (and more importantly) follow God, the Trinity, the whole Person of the Godhead. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 24-25 (NASB, emphasis mine)