Multitudes on Mondays: Pink

When I found out that I was having a girl last September, I was excited. I had only known girls, being the oldest of three of that gender, and boys? Well, I had no clue. But there was one part that I did not like.

Pink.

Pink was never a good color for me, and I much prefer green or blue or purple or even yellow to the ultra-girly pink.

Pink is what girly-girls wear. Barbie wears pink. Girls who take hours to dress each morning wear pink. My daughter was not going to be one of those girls. Pink was out.

But there's a sad truth to having a girl. Almost all newborn clothes, nearly every girl-specific toy, and *almost every single girl gift at baby showers come only one color: PINK.

At first, I balked. I protested. I looked for other ways, other means. Pink would not be the defining color of my baby girl!

Then she was born. And pink indeed took over much of her wardrobe. And her toys. While there were (and are) other colors, we still have lots of pink.

But I've actually come to like it, accept it. Pink is so much more than a color. It's a mindset, a realization that this child is my daughter, a princess, and longs to be beautiful, even now. (Yes, my four-month-old loves to be put in pretty, albeit comfy, clothes...especially pink ones!) My daughter, even now, is showing her girly side: preferring to be a social butterfly, enjoying shopping trips to the fullest, and already trying to talk up a storm.

Pink. Is absolutely beautiful.

Counting the gifts that pink has brought us:

pink dolls
pink onesies
pink on her diaper covers
pink dresses
pink Moses basket
pink blankets
pink rattles
pink socks
pink pants
pink stroller
pink towels and washcloths
pink bathrobe
pink picture frames
pink photo albums
pink stuffed animals
...and a purple swing. 

Sisters 'N Cloth

Bloggy friends! I have such exciting news!! Tonight (estimated time is 7 PM), yes tonight, my sister-in-law, Melissa, and I are launching our new blog, Sisters 'N Cloth!

It's been a whirlwind week, from idea to themes to intro posts to Twitter to Facebook to launch! What a ride!

I am excited to be able to share posts about cloth diapers, frugal living, "green" living (to an extent), breastfeeding, babywearing, and homeschooling! We're also planning to have reviews and giveaways. So stop by, grab a cup of coffee, and join in the conversation. We can't wait to share this part of our world with you!

If you'd like to read my thoughts on green living, feel free to visit my post: A Greener View.

If you'd like, you can follow us on Twitter: @sistersncloth or on Facebook:  Sisters 'N Cloth

Project Love

I read Ann's post today, and the same feelings, the same compassion, overwhelms me. The same that started in September 2010, the same that has been haunting me ever since.

Every Compassion post on Twitter, every mention of writing letters, fuels this desire, this heartache for someone I've never met.

And since September, I've heard, "If you can find a way..." I have tried. But there are bills to pay, loans we can't pay, groceries, clothes, and list goes on. Still, my heart clenches and the tears well up because I know that we are so much better off than so many around this world. How can we make this work?

Right now, I'm working with my sister-in-law on a project that I hope will allow for this, for the love of Christ to be brought to others, for Christ in them to be their hope of glory, for God to be glorified and honored, and for us both to be brought lower.

Would you join me in prayers for this? That we may glorify God through this project, viewing it as much as ministry as anything? That we may be bold in our faith in the circles we will be in? And that, possibly, God would allow for one more child to be sponsored in our name? Thank you, friends.

Backwards

It's that time of the week again: Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo! Five minutes to just write...to do the "write" thing! (Corny, yes, but please indulge me.) This week's topic is Backwards. And unlike previous weeks, I have no clue what I'm going to write about just yet. ;)

Go!

When I looked up the image for "backwards" (above), I couldn't help but notice the definition. Backwards has one meaning that I've never really considered, but there it was, in black and white. The third (maybe fourth) definition listed said that backwards is "Unwilling to act, reluctant, shy."

That is me in so many ways. I know that I should do something. But I'm unwilling to put myself out there, to risk being hurt. I am reluctant so very often to act on my own (needing, wanting someone to go with me).

It's not that I can't do it on my own. I just prefer some support. Because, well, I'm shy.

Perhaps, instead of this clock here, I should have put a picture of me. In so many ways, I am "backward." Even though you may not tell, even in person, it is my nature. Maybe it's time for me to stop relying on others? Maybe it's time for me to spring forward?

How are you acting backward? Are you reluctant to try something new today?

Stop!

when you don't feel good enough

"Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. To this end, I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily." Colossians 1:28-29 (emphasis mine)

I am pretty good at putting myself down. The condemning self-talk only gets worse when I'm feeling tired, worn out, or just blah. It may start out with you didn't wash dishes today...look at the mess piled up on the counter. And then usually there will be an and look at the mess in the living room! You know Drew hates that. Suffice it to say that it escalates from there, sometimes even listing the ways that I'm a terrible wife or mom. Or both.

Tonight was one of those nights. And I just felt...dissatisfied. Because I'm not clean or neat. Because I wish that we had just a little more money...maybe to pay off student loans or buy a few more diapers. Because I miss being pregnant and though my sweet girl is such a joy, she's also a handful. (And, no, I haven't gotten to the part where I would actually have two kids. I don't dream that far ahead...on purpose.) I want so badly to be the person (albeit idealized) that I want to be. The person that I'm sure would do a little better than all of the things I feel that I'm doing wrong.

Here's the rub: I can't. There is nothing in me that is good. Nothing in me that is righteous. Even this idealized form that I aspire to, I cannot get there on my own. There is only this: "Christ in me, the only hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27). And there is this: "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved..." (Colossians 3:12).

Because Christ is my hope of glory, because I am holy and beloved, He works mightily in me. He works in me...mightily. So often, I want to be better. I want to do more. And I fail. Why? Because I am relying on my own strength. Because I am not trusting Him to lead me in love. Instead, I lead myself...in fear and distrust. After all, who could love me? Just the way I am?

When I trust God to work mightily in me, I give up my own dreams and wishes for myself. I rely on God to lead. I strive because He leads me to strive. I rest because He leads me to rest. He leads me according to what He knows I can handle. According to what He knows I need. According to His will.

Oh, this is hard. And I fight against it, bucking against the One giving me life. I would rather believe the lies I tell myself than to rest in the Father. I would rather strive, working myself into a fit, than to be at peace. After all, haven't we heard so often that if you just change your mindset, if you just work at it, you can accomplish anything? Do better, work harder, strive. Often, these cries drown out the quiet whisper: "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Because He is working in us. He is leading us from glory to glory. In His time.

Where is He leading you? To rest? To strive? To do the thing you think you cannot do? Lean on Him. Trust Him. Yes, it isn't easy. Yes, it's so very hard. But, friend, practice anyway. Because eventually this giving of things to Him, this leaning on Him? It does get easier. Even when it doesn't feel like it.

Every Day

Another Five-Minute Friday, brought to you by Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama! This week's topic to write about for five glorious, stress-free minutes? Every day. And for this week, I know just the subject! :)

GO!

I wait up every night, whether my little one has gone to bed or not. Whether I'm exhausted by noon or not. I wait up until anywhere from 9 to 11, and just a little after.

Because at that magical hour, just before midnight, my husband comes home from work. Tired and worn out from dealing with the many interesting people at Wal-Mart, he slips in. And I can't help but grin, even when I've been dealing with a fussy baby. Even if he doesn't take her (like I always think he should...after all, I've dealt with her all day!) But I grin because my best friend is home.

The best days are when he opens up and talks about whatever is on his heart. Yes, those days are wonderful. And then sometimes, even if he's still wired and wide awake, he'll snuggle in bed with me until right before I doze off because he knows that I sleep better when he's in the bed too.

Yes, he'll be around for most of the morning. Yes, sometimes he doesn't go in until 4 PM. But his coming home is always the best part of my day. Every day. Every day for three years this Tuesday. And a wonderful three years it's been!

STOP!

June 7, 2008

Thankfully, Little Bit was asleep so that I could take a few minutes and write. :) She has been an active little thing here lately. Just like her Daddy!

Words

There is a picture of a little boy on my fridge. A newborn, just hours old, wrapped in the sweetest little outfit. He sleeps there, reminding me of a simple truth: he was stillborn. And his parents need prayer.

This side of the grief fence is difficult to walk.

So often, I want to whisper words, but they're just words. Not inspired words. So I stop. Because this I know: when the words I speak are inspired, it does not matter what I say because I can have confidence that God knows exactly what needs to be said. When He inspires my words, they are beautiful, even if they are simple.

So this is what I pray for: words that speak comfort, words I cannot find until they come to me, words that somehow heal the hurting heart and become a balm for the soul. Beautiful, uplifting words.

And this is my prayer for this blog, too. That even when I'm talking about something random that at least one thing will stick. One phrase will make you think. One word will change your heart. Not because I'm just that good. Not because I feel I need an audience. But because I know the One who spoke the world into existence can speak blessings beyond measure to your heart.

He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that we ask or think. His mercies and lovingkindness are new every morning. His grace is so great, so good, so undeserved! He loves us deeply and dearly. He never changes. Great is His faithfulness!!

Wherever you are today, whatever you need God to be, just wait. Be still. Know that He is God.

Because His words, His life-giving words, are coming your way. And His grace is sufficient for you, for His strength is made perfect in your weakness.